Bastardisms

Romeo And Juliet - with commentary
Thursday, February 24, 2005

Simply because, as my friend Kailash says, I'm "weird," have I decided to share this joke with you. I came up with this during whichever English class in high school I had to read Romeo and Juliet in. I know that this is not an exact replication of what was said in the "window" scene, but it's close enough and damnit it's funny! This is what Romeo thinks in response to Juliet's famous monologue.

[Juliet] O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?

[Romeo] Down here in the bushes.

[Juliet] Deny thy father and refuse thy name...

[Romeo] I can't. He'd cut off my allowance.

[Juliet] 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy...What's in a name?

[Romeo] Uhh... letters?

[Juliet] that which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet;

[Romeo] Probably, but it wouldn't sell as well at Valentines Day.

[Juliet] Romeo would, by any other name, still not be Romeo.

[Romeo] No. He'd be Bill or Bob or Jack.

Well, that's enough silliness for now. Shakespeare is probably rolling over in his grave right now because of what I've done to his work.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:19 PM    

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