U.S. Generosity

As we all know, the death toll from the Tsunami is now well over 100,000 people. This event is terrible and extremely unfortunate. However, some people, (namely Jan Egeland the U.N. Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs), have tried to paint the United States and other nations as being "stingy" in their giving for relief. Initially, the U.S. gave $35 million to help victims of the tsunami (Australia gave $27 million and Great Britain gave $62.5 million). But apparently the U.S. contribution wasn't enough for some people. *cough* *Jan Egeland* *cough* So what do we have to do now? We've pledged an additional $350 million. That brings our total up to $385 million. Great. We've pledged over 1/3rd of a billion dollars to help these people out.

However, I still have a couple of questions. Namely, how much of that "relief money" will be used to line the pockets of "officials" in the countries where aid is needed? But more importantly I ask Jan Egeland and the rest of the world where they were when Florida was hit by 3 hurricanes earlier this year? Where was the worldwide contributions to help the victims of that natural disaster? Or is there a double standard? Do American disaster victims not rank as high as other victims around the world? Where are we supposed to get this money from? Does it grow on trees?

The rest of the world expects the United States to bleed money. They expect for us to open up our national checkbook every time something shitty happens somewhere. Well guess what? Israel alone receives $662 million dollars in Economic Aid from the U.S.! That also doesn't account for all of the military supplies and other things that we send to them. In the year 2003 alone, we gave $2.7395 billion dollars in aid to the rest of the God-damned world! How can you people even begin to call us stingy? It makes me want to puke.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:37 PM 1 comments  

Random Survey

You know I'm hot, just tell me already!

I saw this on one of my friend's IM away messages. So I answered her version of the survey. now, she's apparently pissed off at me. Go figure. I mean, it's called BLUNT TRUTH. What did you expect? A spin-off of High Times?

Don't ask the questions if you don't want to know the answers.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 9:46 AM 0 comments  


Ever notice how some companies will take oldies songs and use portions of them to promote their products? Well, I was thinking the other day and I came up with the perfect oldies song for Enzyte. (You know, the penis pills.)

The song would be the Four Seasons' "Stay".
You could have the music play and then have the vocals come in on the line "Just a little bit longer." Then, fade out the vocals and have the announcer talk some more. Then you bring up the vocals on the lines "Now, your Daddy don't mind; and your Momma don't mind." Fade out vocals. After the announcer promotes the product and dances all around the issue of what it actually does, you could bring up vocals on the line "Won't you say you love me all of the tii-i-i-i-i-i-ime." Then just repeat "Just a little bit longer" as needed.

I have too much free time on my hands.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:17 PM 0 comments  


I don't have kids. The problem that I find is that anyone can have a kid. There are no rules or guidelines about parenting. Oh sure, you have some laws that say that you can't abuse or neglect your kid. But it still amazes me to no end that people are required to take a competency test to operate a motor vehicle, but are allowed to raise children with no education, experience, or guidelines. And we all know that raising a child is infinitely harder than driving a car. (You can't put parenting on cruise control.)

Therefore, I would like to propose that there be either state or nationally mandated educational classes for all parents who are pregnant or have had a child within the past year. The classes would incorporate basic home economics, including but not limited to: Balancing a checkbook and the effective use of funds, basic culinary skills, basic nutrition, child psychology, basic child-rearing techniques (survey course of different methods), and effective communication techniques (both with your child and with other family members).

Balancing a Checkbook/Effective use of Funds
This course would guide parents and parents-to-be in basic economics. This is not talking about the Gross Domestic Product. This is guiding people in how to effectively manage their paycheck so that they do not accumulate more debt than they can handle. It would advise people of the pitfalls of credit cards and how easy it is to get in debt with them.

Basic Culinary Skills
This course would teach people how to cook basic meals for a family. It would include all the necessary skills to be able to cook simple, low cost food for your family. Some of the parts of the course would include portion management (how to cook just the right amount), stove-top skills, using a microwave for more than just T.V. dinners, etc.

Basic Nutrition
This course would go hand in hand with the cooking course. It would be a guide for choosing foods that meet your families nutritional requirements.

Child Psychology
This would be a very basic course in how children think and act. The goal would be to give parents and potential parents an idea of why their child acts they way that they do.

Basic Child-Rearing Techniques (Survey Course)
This would range from changing diapers to helping with homework. This course would give people practice in the necessary skills required for raising a child. Also covered in this course would be different methods of raising a child. (Spanking vs. Timeout, etc.)

Effective Communication Techniques
This course outlines how to be able to better communicate with your child and family without resorting to yelling and screaming. Also included would be effective tips for disarming hostile situations that could lead to yelling. This course would probably be helpful in reducing the number of divorces every year.

One problem that I can foresee is scheduling. How do you fit all of these classes in with a job? That will be a difficulty in the early years of the licensing process. The solution is to incorporate the classes into the required courses for high school students. Once the student has completed the courses, then he or she will be given their license and allowed to have children.

Now I know that this will not cure all of the problems that our society has, but it will enable our parents to be more prepared for the arduous task of bringing up a well-rounded, polite child in today's world.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:42 PM 2 comments  

I give up.

I give up on women. I'm tired of constantly having my heart stomped on. Hey, I've been living a celibate life (not by choice) for some time now, why not make it my decision? I'm thoroughly burned out on the whole process. I'm not just going to stop looking for a relationship, I'm going to start actively avoiding any type of relationship. Maybe I'll go back to being the "Mr. Stoic" that I was in high school. We'll see.

I've been told that it's when you stop looking that you find someone. Yeah, you find them, become smitten, then they go off with someone else. No thank you. I can do without that.

I'm not bitter because I'm single, quite the opposite.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:11 AM 0 comments  

I think that I'm going to get a Vasectomy.

Last night I saw something so horrible that it made me want to never procreate. If you have never seen Fox's show Nanny 911, then count yourself lucky. This is a show where Nannys are called into homes where the parents have no control over their children. Then, within a week, the Nanny turns the entire family around and they are one big happy entity.

The only problem? I wanted to give those brats an ass-whooping of Biblical proportions only 5 minutes into the program. For Christ's sake, how can you let your kids get this bad? This program is the most effective form of birth control that I have ever come across. watching this show for the limited amount of time that I did only made me want to go get a vasectomy. That way, I won't have to ever deal with that particular form of hell.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:04 PM 0 comments