How to live forever.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
This comes from my friend Daisy. The idea and the conclusion were his, I just supplied a couple of the details.
Albert Einstein's theory of relativity is E=mc2 or energy is equal to mass multiplied by the speed of light. This means that time slows down as mass approaches the speed of light. Time slows down because you are moving faster than everything else.
This means that time will pass slower for a person moving at near light-speed than for the people at the place where they left. What seems like only 4 months to the person in the vessel is 10 years to everyone else. Roughly.
So what if it we were to reverse it? Time slows down for the person who is moving faster because everything else is moving slower. Therefore if were were to slow ourselves down and let everything move faster, we could conceivably live forever.
This is where the Personal Reality Deceleration Device, or PRDD, comes into play. You wear this device and it slows down your perception of reality and lets you essentially live forever.
We also theorized that moving to Amsterdam would probably have the same effect.
There's only one problem with this way of living forever. What's the point? You'd spend you entire life stuck in traffic.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:51 PM 0 comments
Cool Quotes
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
"Women are meant to be loved, not understood."
-Oscar Wilde
"Come on, you apes! You wanta live forever?"
-Unknown platoon sergeant, 1918
"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel."
-Horace Walpole (1717-1797)
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle
"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
-Aristotle
"We make war that we may live in peace."
-Aristotle
"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-Plato
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
-Anonymous
"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
-Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988), "Job", 1984
"If there were no God, there would be no Atheists."
-G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."
-Seen on a T-shirt
"I was not making fun of you personally; I was heaping scorn on an inexcusably silly idea-a practice I shall always follow."
-Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), "Starship Troopers", 1959
"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion [violence never settles anything] is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms."
-Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), "Starship Troopers", 1959
I will update this as often as I can. It's surprisingly difficult to find poignant quotes on short notice.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:25 AM 0 comments
Douglas Adams
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
If you have never read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", then you should. Douglas Adams is a great writer who revolutionized the world of sci-fi. His work artfully blends comedy with science fiction. Originally a BBC radio show, Adams later divided it up into three books. Those books were "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", and "Life, the Universe, and Everything". Then, Douglas Adams decided to write two more books, "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish", and "Mostly harmless". Hence, that is the reason that the Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy has 5 books in it. Also, there is a short story entitled "Young Zaphod Plays it Safe".
The books follow the travels of Arthur Dent and his buddy Ford Prefect, who just happens to be an alien. They meet the president of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox and many other people and things. Also, if you are interested, the original trilogy was made into a BBC television program and a video game. What has really gotten me excited, however is the fact that they are now working on a "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Movie". The cast list so far is very interesting and I can't wait to see it. I really hope that they decide to do each of the books into a movie like they are doing(maybe) with the Harry Potter Series.
Another book by Douglas Adams is "Starship Titanic". This book was written by Adams and Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. This book is about an opulent cruise starship that crashes on Earth. Like all of Adams' books, this one is worth reading. Although Terry Jones does the writing for this book, it is based upon a video game by Douglas Adams.
Also available from Douglas Adams are "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul", and "The Salmon of Doubt". The last book is a collection of works that Douglas Adams had on his computer when he died in 2001. It includes some chapters for the next book in the Hitchhiker's Guide series as well as several essays that he did.
Remember, the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42. We just don't know the question.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:12 PM 0 comments
Poetry
I decided to include several of my favorite poems here and comments on why I like them. Some of them I have included the full text here on the page, other because of their length had to be linked to. I hope that you enjoy them and that they touch you in some way.
Afton Waters
By: Robert Burns
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes!
Flow gently, I'll sing thee a song in thy praise!
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream, -
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
Thou stock-dove whose echo resounds through the glen,
Ye wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den,
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear, -
I charge you, disturb not my slumbering fair!
How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighbouring hills,
Far-marked with the courses of clear-winding rills!
There daily I wander, as noon rises high,
My flocks and my Mary's sweet cot in my eye.
How pleasant thy banks and green valleys below,
Where wild in the woodlands the primroses blow!
There oft, as mild evening weeps over the lea,
The sweet-scented birk shades my Mary and me.
Thy crystal stream, Afton, how lovely it glides,
And winds by the cot where my Mary resides!
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet lave,
As gath'ring sweet flowerets she stems thy clear wave!
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes!
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme of my lays!
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream, -
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
This is one of the most beautiful pieces of poetry that I have ever heard. I first came across it via the bluegrass band Nickel Creek on their self titled CD. The poem is about a man and the woman that he loves as they are by the shore of the river. Whenever I read this poem or listen to the song, I can imagine a beautiful Scottish glen next to a river. Burn's wonderful use of imagery transports the reader/listener to another place.
The Devil and Billy Markham
By: Shel Silverstein
Unfortunately, due to the length, I can only link to this great piece of work. Most people will only be acquainted with Mr. Silverstein's children's work, such as "A Light in the Attic" and "Where the Sidewalk Ends". This poem, as is suggested by the title, takes a wholly different approach to Silverstein's poems. This is a lengthy poem about a down on his luck country singer in Nashville who gambles with the devil and loses. The poem follows him and all his dealings with the Devil and eventually with his redemption and his family. To say any more would be to give away the best part, but I highly recommend that everyone read this poem.
The Naked and the Nude
By: Robert Graves
For me, the naked and the nude
(By lexicographers construed
As synonyms that should express
The same deficiency of dress
Or shelter) stand as wide apart
As love from lies, or truth from art.
Lovers without reproach will gaze
On bodies naked and ablaze;
The Hippocratic eye will see
In nakedness, anatomy;
And naked shines the Goddess when
She mounts her lion among men.
The nude are bold, the nude are sly
To hold each treasonable eye.
While draping by a showman's trick
Their dishabille in rhetoric,
They grin a mock-religious grin
Of scorn at those of naked skin.
The naked, therefore, who compete
Against the nude may know defeat;
Yet when they both together tread
The briary pastures of the dead,
By Gorgons with long whips pursued,
How naked go the sometime nude!
I first encountered this poem in my senior English book. The poem describes the subtle differences between what is beautiful and what is vulgar. Mostly, intentions are the backbone of the differences. If one's intentions are love or scientific, then the disrobed body is a thing of beauty. If one's intentions are lewd, then the body is merely a plaything.
The Tygre
By: William Blake
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
This poem manages to superbly capture the majesty and ferocity of the tiger. As a person who loves large cats, especially tigers, this poem is one of my favorites. I like it so much that I am actually at a loss for words to describe it.
The Iliad and The Odyssey
By: Homer
These two epic poems are required reading for almost anyone receiving a high school education in America. These Greek tales of heroics are classics and should be part of any personal library. "The Iliad" is the story of the Greek siege of the city of Troy. Recently, this poem has enjoyed a popular revival in the movie "Troy". "The Odyssey" also has also been made into a made-for-TV movie. Also, it was loosely the storyline for the popular movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?".
The Aeneid
By: Virgil
If I include Homer's two epic poems, then I must also include Virgil's work, "The Aeneid". This poem is by a Roman author and traces the journey of Aeneus and the eventual founding of Rome. This was one of my required readings for college and is another must have for any personal library.
Memory Pain
By: J. R. Guinness
June 08, 2003
Yesterday I took a trip.
It was down a lane.
Instead of houses on either side,
Were memories that filled me with pain.
I looked.
And everywhere I could see,
Were visions of us,
And we were happy.
Yesterday I opened a book
It was filled with memories
And on all the pages
Were notes you had written to me.
I read the book
From cover to cover
And a lump formed in my throat
Remembering how I pushed you away, lover.
Now I sit
All alone
You’re with him
Because my heart was a stone.
Today I take a trip
Down memory pain.
This poem is one that I wrote when I was feeling particularly sad, as you can probably tell. I won't relate the events that led to me writing this, becuase those are personal. I find it amuzing that most of the poetry written is either because the author is feeling incredibly sad or incredibly happy. You don't seem to see much in the way of "I had an ordinary day" poetry. I do hope that you will read this and enjoy it.
Playful Wind
By: J. R. Guinness
Playful wind
blowing through the grass
flowing through the leaves
dancing your invisible dance
Playful wind
rustling the young girls hair
not her nor there
but everywhere.
Playful wind
Here one moment
Gone the next
Where are you, playful wind?
This is a poem that I wrote on the way home from work. The phrase "playful wind" had been bouncing around in my head all day and this is what came out. Not particularly original, but very cathartic in terms of emptying my head of that phrase.
These are merely a few of the poems that I enjoy. I will make sure to add more as they come up.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 11:23 AM 0 comments
Choices.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Did you ever stop to think about the choices that we make everyday? The choices that we have already made lead inevitably to where we are right now. We are where we are only because of those choices. If you look back on your life, you can identify key points where your life shifted because of a decision that you made. I have often thought about how my life might have been different if I made one of those choices differently.
If I had gone to a different college, I wouldn't have met all of the people that I know now. I wouldn't have been able to be friends with who I am friends with and I wouldn't have gotten to love who I loved.
Do I stay here and let things be as they are? Or do I go out and go for that something that I want? Do I tell that person how I feel even though it might change how we see each other for the rest of our lives?
However different my life might have been if I had made different decisions, I have decided that I am happy with every choice I have made. Some of them might not have been good ones, but they led me to where I am. I would never trade the friends that I have made for the possible gains that other decisions might have gotten me. This post is for everyone that I know and love.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:49 PM 0 comments
Reasons why I'm glad that I'm a guy.*
*Please note that these are in no particular order. Also note that this list will be updated as regularly as possible. Something else of note. I am not mysoginistic. These are intended to be funny.
No makeup. (Unless you are in the theatre, and then it is perfectly acceptable.)
No need to buy a new outfit for a social event. (You get credit if you remember to wear black socks with your black shoes.)
About 4 or 5 pairs of shoes is all you need.
Short haircuts mean that you don't have to do anything to your hair.
The ability to avoid potentially "bad hair days" by merely putting on a baseball cap.
Peeing standing up.
Guys can have a "beer gut" and still feel sexy.
No menstrual cycle.
No menopause/hotflashes. (If you are a guy and you are experiencing hotflashes, more than likely you are on fire...literally.)
Graying hair is not the end of the world. (In fact, it could make you even sexier.)
Not having to wear a bra.
Boxers.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:24 PM 0 comments
Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory.
I think that Dante got it wrong in his Divine Comedy. I think that Purgatory is the worst place that one could be in the afterlife. If you think about it in terms of interaction, then Heaven and Hell are pretty much equal. Now before you go declaring me a heretic and start piling up wood at the bottom of a big stake, let me explain myself. Heaven is a place where you are rewarded for essentially being good. Hell is a place where you are punished for essentially being bad. But, purgatory is a place that you go to when you are not good enough to get into Heaven or bad enough to get into Hell. You are essentially ignored by both sides. That, to me would seem like the worst place in the afterlife. Instead of thinking of the afterlife as a line going from worst(Hell) to best (Heaven), with purgatory being in the middle. I think of it as being in the shape of a V. You could even place this V on a graph. The left arm would be Hell and the right arm would be Heaven. The point would be purgatory and would be at origin. The X-axis would be treatment (positive versus negative). The Y-axis would be level of interaction. [Insert picture of graph here.]
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:00 PM 0 comments
Webcomics.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
As time progresses, so does the mediums in which humans express themselves. The earliest expressions were drawing in a cave in Ardeche Valley, France. Some person thought that they would record, the world that they saw around them. As art progressed there was, eventually, oil and canvass, watercolors, blocktype, photographs, CGI, and eventually webcomics.
Webcomics are merely the next step in the progression of artwork. Therefore I would like to share with you a list of some of the webcomics that I have seen. This is in no way a comprehensive list, it's just a list of some of the comics that I try to read on a daily basis. I salute all of the people who write, draw, and publish this work. Good job!
Penny-Arcade
Penny Arcade is a webcomic devoted to gaming in it's many forms. The writer and artist are a great team who's talents play off of one another to create a wholly funny product. Plus, the Fruit-fucker 2000 is hilarious.
Nuklear Power is what is known a s a "sprite comic." That means that the author takes images from video game screenshots and places them on backgrounds of their own making and adds text bubbles and whatnot. Hilarity ensues. This is one of the better sprite comics that I have seen. The author chose to have a storyline that is original, but still "in character." You don't have to be a gamer to enjoy this comic.
Even though I am an avowed PC user, I still love this comic. It follows a bunch of apple users and their views on life, gaming, and hardware. It also introduced me to one of my favorite jokes. I am one of those 10 people. Also, one of the cool things about this comic is that the authors have put up a progress bar to let you know what has been done and when to expect the next comic.
A comic strip about people writing/drawing/producing a comic strip. Very funny, with a rich background and engaging storyline. It is one of the few webcomics that I read that is drawn entirely by hand. This is one strip that I highly recommend everyone read. The only problem with it is that it hasn't been updated since July 4th, 2004.*Note: Striptease Comic updated on 08/05 to let us know that they will be updating soon.**Striptease Comic is back on schedule as of 08/11.
This is another gaming comic. The artwork is very enjoyable in this comic. The characters are interesting and crazy at times. I do love the robot X-Box. This comic is one of the few that I have actually been interested in buying the merchandise from. Check out the original Lucas T-shirt. Also there is a newer Lucas T-shirt.
Spells & Whistles is a themed webcomic. The storyline is something that you might expect to find in a Dungeons and Dragons tabletop game. If you're the type of person who expects those things... The artwork is great. The only problem is that there isn't a lot of issues right now. The plus side is that the author, like those at Applegeeks.com, decided to put up a progress bar to show you how much is done on the next comic so that you can have a better idea of when to expect the next installment.
I'm sure that there are more. In fact I know it but I can't really think of any others that I read on a regular basis and enjoy. Although there is this one. But I really don't recommend you read that one if you are weak of stomach. If anyone is interested in finding more webcomics I recommend going to Keenspot.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:36 PM 0 comments
Fate?
Monday, August 02, 2004
This is a story that has been posted on many other blogs. I have decided to excerpt it here because I choose to draw my own conclusions about it.
There was a scholar who was to marry his fiancée, but on the day of marriage, his fiancée changed her mind and married someone else. The scholar was devastated and fell ill. His family sought all kinds of medical treatment for him, but still he showed no sign of recovery. They were about to give up hope on him when a wandering monk passed by.
After learning about the scholar's condition, the monk walked to the scholar's bed and took out a mirror for the dying man to see. In the mirror, the scholar saw a vast ocean, and the naked body of a murdered woman laying on the beach. A man passed by, looked at the body, shook his head and left. Another man who passed by saw the body, took off his robes to cover the body and left. Finally came a man passing by who saw the body, dug a hole and laid the body carefully to rest before burying it.
The scene in the mirror suddenly changed. The scholar saw his fiancée in a nuptial chamber and another man was lifting her wedding veil... The scholar blinked at the monk, confused. Slowly the monk explained, "The woman whose body you saw on the beach was your fiancée in her previous life. In your previous life, you were the second man who gave her his robes to cover her body. To repay your kindness in this lifetime, she loved you for a period of time and became your fiancée. However, ultimately the man whose favor she has to return for the rest of her life is the third man who buried her. And that man is now her husband."
Enlightened, the scholar sat up and recovered from his depression.
It is interesting how life works. Sometimes when you think that you may have just messed things up forever, something comes along and puts them into perspective. This story has just put my life into perspective. Something very similar happened to me recently. Last night in fact. Then, today, I happened to be randomly going through Web Logger profiles and the creator of this blog was one of the first that I came across. While I don't like the fact that this person's spelling would give most English professors an Acute Myocardial Infarction (heart attack), the logger was definitely "there for me" when I needed it. Maybe it was fate that I should find this parable when I needed it most. Maybe it is true that "When the student is ready, the master will appear." I think that the master is not always a person. I think that the "master" may be an event or possibly, as in this case, a story or other learning experience that "comes" to us. Either that or I just get philosophical when I get depressed. Either way I feel much better now. Not completely better, but much better than before.
I hope that everyone finds something that helps put their life into perspective like this has done for me.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:55 PM 0 comments
Taoism
I try not to look at everything from only one side. There are always more ways to see something than you can think of. For instance, take the yin-yang symbol: 
The yin-yang symbol represents the dualities that we live with in this world. For example, if one were to look at a picture of the yin-yang symbol it would appear to be very simple. It is composed of two identical shapes, with two colors, each with the opposite color within them. However, at the same time, one must also acknowledge the complexity of the symbol. The two shapes are in motion, while remaining still. The process of creation is going on at the same time as the process of destruction. Also, there is a third color in the symbol. There is an infinitesimally small, grey line where the black and the white meet.
The yin-yang represents paired dualities. There can be know light without dark and no dark without light. If you were to look at the symbol and say that it is a picture of one thing, then you would be denying that it is made up of two parts, but if you were to say that it is a picture of two things, then you would be denying that it is also one complete thing.
According to legend, the idea of yin and yang was developed by Taoists who were looking at a hill. If you looked at the hill from one side, all you would see is darkness. If you looked at the hill from the other side, all you would see is light. But as you move between those two opposites, you see varying degrees of both elements of light and dark. Eventually you see equal parts light and dark. When you are at this point, you can appreciate the point where the darkness meets the light and creates a place that is both, but neither. This is where the Tao is.
Interesting correlations can be drawn between Taoism and the Star Wars universe. Throughout the movies and the entire Star Wars timeline, one can see a struggle between the darkness and the light. Especially upon the completion of The Revenge of the Sith, one will be able to appreciate, the full cycle of the transition between light and dark. The number of Jedi wane while the number of Sith increase.
Seek out the Tao. It is in everything.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:00 PM 0 comments
Left? Right? Maybe you're both wrong.
Friday, July 30, 2004
Currently I am reading Al Franken's book "Lies And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them." The paperback edition. I'm also reading Ann Coulter's book "Slander." The hardback edition. The more that I read political books, the more that I think that both sides have got it wrong.
In both of these books, the author will accuse the other "side" or making a statement that is distorted. Or misleading. Or that was just pulled out of someone's ass. Each author criticizes the other for name calling. IE: "Such and such part/person/idea is stupid". Well, guess what. You both do it. So does everyone else. We all get flustered when we get angry and our logic goes out the window and we resort to the third-grade-out-on-the-playground mentality. So, we have established that everyone at sometime call someone else some variety of "stupid." This means that we can move away from calling each other on it and get to some real issues.
In this Web Log I will try to make sure that I don't lapse into name calling. I will try not to call anyone stupid. I may refer to their actions as being stupid, but I will try to refrain from ad hominem attacks.
That being said, I think that more people need to explore all the regions of politics today. For example, a good place to see a lot of interesting, and at sometimes inflammatory, debate is over at Politics.com. This site has a lot of people who post with various backgrounds and various views. You can probably find a thread on just about anything that you like. I urge you to give it a look, because it means that at least you are trying to expose yourself to other viewpoints. I highly encourage everyone to debate. Even if it means taking the opposite side of what you believe. But the most important thing is for you to get involved.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 12:04 PM 0 comments
Apprehension...
Unfortunately I have never been good at keeping a journal. I never was able to keep up with it and anytime that I did write entries was usually when I depressed about something. Later, I would go back and read the entries and think that I was a complete and utter moron. Such is the way of maturity, I guess. We see ourselves now as compared to then and we realize that it wasn't so bad. At least now we are able to put it into perspective. This blog, and I utterly hate that word, is going to be me trying to put the world around me into perspective. This Web Log will be mostly politically oriented, but I will also try to write about the world that I see. I don't care what you think about me or my politics. I didn't make you come here. But since you are here, I want to entertain you and hopefully inform you. If you want advice, then here it is:
Never stop learning from the world around you.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 11:45 AM
Posts
