Bastardisms

Why the rest of the world hates the U.S.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Goldschläger



Goldschläger is defined by DrinksMixer.com as "A clear swiss cinnamon schnapps, containing 24 carrot gold leaf flakes." This is why the rest of the world hates the united states. We are so filthy rich that we have drinks with gold in them. People starve in other countries and we find new ways to consume more. Yes, I know that Goldschläger is a swiss made drink, but I'm pretty sure that a lot of it is consumed here in the U.S.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 12:30 AM 1 comments    

Police and the Use of Deadly Force
Monday, November 15, 2004

We have been discussing the use of force by police officers, deadly and non-deadly, in several of my classes. Then this morning I heard Mike Gallagher talking about a 6 year old boy in Florida who had been tasered. Here is an exceprt of the article from the Miami Herald:

Posted on Thu, Nov. 11, 2004
Police used Taser gun to subdue 6-year-old student wielding piece of glass

BY SUSANNAH A. NESMITH

snesmith@herald.com

Miami-Dade police tasered a 6-year-old boy who was wielding a piece of glass in a school office and threatening to hurt himself, officials confirmed Thursday.

Police say they followed their own guidelines and only tasered the child because they were afraid he would hurt himself. But the incident has raised calls for the department tighten its policies regarding the use of the stun guns, which shoot 50,000 volts of electric current through a subject.

The incident happened on Oct. 20 at Kelsey Pharr Elementary School. The principal, Maria Mason, called 911 after the child, who has not been identified, broke a picture frame in the assistant principal's office. Then the boy began waving the piece of glass around, holding a security guard at bay.

Two Miami-Dade police officers responded, followed by a school police officer. When they got there, the boy already had a cut under his right eye and another on his hand from the glass. The three officers talked to the boy, trying to get him to put down the glass, according to a police report.

One of the officers slid a trash can to him, hoping he would throw the glass away if he didn't want to give it to any of the five adults there.

Then the officer contacted a supervisor to see if there was a policy specifically prohibiting the use of a stun gun on a child. There isn't, and the officer was told to do what she felt was necessary.

The two officers continued to try to talk to the child, who didn't respond.

Then he cut his own leg and the officers acted. One officer shocked him with the Taser while the other grabbed him, preventing him from falling on the ground.

It's stuff like this that makes me want to make changes to the way that policing is handled here in the U.S. I know that right now some of you are saying "Yeah, our officers shouldn't do stiff like that!"

There used to be what was called the "Fleeing Felon Rule." Basically, under this doctrine, a police officer could shoot a felon who was running away in order to stop them. As you can imagine this angered some people. Namely the people who were getting shot and their families. In the case of Tennessee vs Garner, that rule was changed. Now, the police officer has to have a reasonable belief that the felon will harm either themselves of someone else before the police officer can shoot at them. Yeah, I see the irony in hurting someone to stop them from hurting themselves.

You may be wondering how these two cases are related. Well, in my opinion, we should repeal the Tennessee vs Garner requirements, but we should give police rubber bullets instead of real ones. We should also expand the circumstances when police can fire their weapons. This way the police officers can just shoot someone in the ass with a rubber bullet. It would be cathartic to the officer. It would also reduce caseloads. More than likely after popping someone in the ass with a rubber bullet, the officer(s) would more than likely be lenient.

We could also have similar things for traffic violations. Say that you get pulled over for speeding. The officer gives you the option of taking the ticket or getting shot in the ass with a paintball gun from 15 feet away. I don't know about you, but I would take the paintball gun. We could even have the officers give you a towel to clean off with. Also, if the officer misses, then you get off without any warnings or anything. I think that it's a great plan.

If we had the "Shoot 'em in the Ass" plan that I just described, then the police could have just shot that uppity little 6 year old with a rubber bullet and it would have been over with. Teach that little punk about screwing with the police.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:23 PM 0 comments    

Changes to the site

As you may have noticed, the GeorgeWBush.com news feed is no longer up. This is because it was no longer being updated. It's kind of pointless to try to bring you news from a source that doesn't update. But now we have something better. The News4sites.com people have come to my rescue. We now have a new section on the sidebar entitled "World at a Glance." This news feed brings up info from around the world. There are many options for what types of news feeds that I can put up. Let me know if you want me to change what type of news you get here.

Update: I forgot that I had requested another news feed. This one is at the top of the page, just underneath the title box. Enjoy.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:30 AM 0 comments    

Random Thought

I'm not bitter because I'm single, quite the opposite.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:15 AM 0 comments    

I still don't like Freud.
Sunday, November 14, 2004

I went to SimilarMinds.com and took this Freudian Inventory Test. I found out about it from this blog and decided to take it myself. Here are the results:

You make what you want out of this.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:57 AM 0 comments    

New Site Feature
Thursday, November 11, 2004

As you can see I have now decided to add a links section to the sidebar. This is so that you can see all of the people that I have met through Blogshares.com. If you want to be linked on my site, then let me know by emailing me or by messaging me at Blogshares.com.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 9:31 PM 0 comments    

Random Thought

Nostalgia is a thing of the past.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 4:20 PM 0 comments    

Warning: Adult Situations!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004

The other night I was watching T.V. and I saw a warning come up on the screen for a movie. It was rated "R" and one of the reasons was that it included "Adult Situations." And I sat there and thought "Adult Situations? What's that, paying the bills? Going to work?" Those are the kinds of things that I think of when I see "Adult Situations." Especially because people in almost every age group have sex. These kinds of thoughts force me to keep only a select group of a few friends.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:30 PM 0 comments    

Thoughts on Suicide.

Let me preface this post by saying that I feel sorry for the suffering that anyone feels when they lose someone close to them. I am not a heartless bastard, just a bastard. With that being said, I have some comments on suicide.

To let you know what the impetus for this post was, you can see the articles here and here. Basically what happened is that a kid on the Texas State University campus committed suicide by shooting himself in the head with a pistol. The campus "newspaper" (and I use that term loosely), published an article in the following edition that included stuff that his friends said about him.

First of all, the guy threw away his life. He decided that his life was no longer worth living and so he voluntarily ended his life. Now, if he had been killed by a drunk driver, a serial killer, or even possibly by a natural disaster then I would be supporting the vigil that these people held for this guy. Hell, I would even support a scholarship in his name. But not because he decided to wuss-out on life.

The second point that I have is about all the things that the campus "newspaper" wrote that his "friends" said about him. You may have noticed the quotes that I used around the word friends. This is because if all of the things that these people said about him were true, then you would think that one of them might have noticed that he was feeling suicidal.

When I die, I don't want people to say nice things about me. I want them to say truthful(mostly) things like "He was an incorrigible bastard who only did anything nice if it would get him laid." Let's be honest people.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:45 PM 1 comments    

Random Thought

PETA hates Schrödinger.™

My stats/research professor brought up the thought experiment designed by Schrödinger that is commonly called Schrödinger's Cat. The basics of the experiment are that a cat is placed in a box with a 50/50 chance of a poison gas being released into the box. The problem is that we won't know whether or not the cat is dead or alive until we open the box and observe the cat. Now, apparenty, this has somethign to do with Quantum Mechanics but I think that the Wikipedia people do a better job of explaining it than I could.

Anyways, I was thinking about the experiment and then I thought "That would really piss off the people at PETA." Thus is the tale of the birth of my new slogan.
Also, my friend Aubrey had a great away message up the other day. It said: "Support the Search & Rescue Team: GET LOST!"

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:30 PM 0 comments    

Self-Serving Tripe

As you may have noticed, my sidebar is growing. I have now added a link that looks like this: . This is because I recently Googled my website's name and found it listed on the BlogShares.com website. So, being the rampant competitor that I am, I have decided to try and increase the value of my little blog on their site. Should you have a desire to help me in this endeavour, then please include the following HTML code at the bottom of all of your webpages:

<a href="http://bastardisms.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Bastardisms."></a>

Also, if you would like to help out, you can click on the link on the sidebar, which will say that I refered you to their website. Thanks for putting up with this tripe.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:00 PM 0 comments    

Recommended Reading:
Monday, November 08, 2004

George Carlin's "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops".

George Carlin brings us his unique brand of witicisms and sharp observations on our society. Carlin is extremely critical of the usage of the English language as practiced by most of us. He spends a significant part of the book solely on euphemisms or "soft language" as he calls it.

As you read the book, you can almost imagine George standing there next to you saying all of the words on the page. Although, for me personally, the book takes a while to get up to speed, by the end of it George is in full swing.

This book has only been out since October 12th, but it is already controversial. The funny part is that the controversy isn't from anything inside the book, but what is on the dust cover.

From George Carlin's website: www.GeorgeCarlin.com.

As you can see, the dust cover depicts Leonardo DaVinci's "Last Supper" with George right next to where Jesus should be. Mega-retailer Wal-Mart has refused to carry the book. You can read more about it here.

I whole heartedly recommend this book to everyone. Just remember that you need to take it with a grain or two of salt. And, preferably, a shot of tequila and some lime.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 11:00 AM 0 comments    

New feature for the site.

As you can see, on the right hand side of the site, just under the link to Help me buy an island is a news bar with updates from the www.GeorgeWBush.com website. I know that the news is only from Nov. 3rd. I don't update the script, their website does. However, if the news script is not updated by the end of the week, then I will try to find a new news script to place there. I hope that you enjoy the little news blurbs that you see, or at least enjoy the effort that I went through to cut and paste someone else's code to keep you up-to-date.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:30 AM 0 comments    

Hail to the Chief!
Thursday, November 04, 2004

_____________

Well, the elections results are in. President Bush has been reelected. That means that once again he will have to preside over a country that is deeply divided. I hope that everyone will try to work together for the next 4 years so that we can accomplish the things that we need to. That being said, I have one thing to say to all of those people who voted for Gore in 2000: This time he IS your President.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:54 PM 0 comments    

This is my kind of game!

Occasionally I get stuff in my email that makes me laugh out loud and then go "That's a good idea." This happens to be one of those things. I got this picture as part of an email from the www.joke-of-the-day.com people. I'm thinking about gathering together all the required pieces to play this and then trying to get a game going with some of my friends.

I've noticed that there seems to be the inkling of a beginning of a theme going on here. Please note that I encourage only people who are of legal age in the place where they reside to drink and when they do so, to drink responsibly. And under no circumstances should they risk their or anyone else's life by drinking and driving. That being said, have fun.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:02 PM 0 comments    

Arbitrary Requirements.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004

The day after my birthday, my mom took me to go see the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar". It was my first time seeing the musical. We lucked out because it was a Broadway cast. It was a really great experience. During the show I absolutely loved the song "Everything's Alright". It was Natalie Toro who sung as Mary Magdalene in the performance that I saw.

Now I bet you are wondering what does this have to do with arbitrary requirements. During that show I decided that I would have an arbitrary requirement in the selection of my next girlfriend. She would have to be able to sing "Everything's Alright." But then I reflected that all our requirements for who we date are arbitrary. If you say to yourself: "I'm only going to date a 6' tall man who can sing bass lines and is 90 lbs.", then you'll end up liking someone who is 4'7" tall, sing alto, and weighs 300 lbs. It just works out that way. And even if you did find your dream person, you probably would find out that you didn't really want what you thought that you wanted. All of these artificial requirements go right out the window when life plops somebody in front of you.

So, keeping all of that in mind, I have now decided that the ability to sing "Everything's Alright" is no longer a requirement, it's just a really good bonus!

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:00 PM 0 comments    

Election Night Drinking Game

Hello everyone. Today we drag our tired asses off of our couches and participate in the democratic process. We get to choose who it is that represents us for the next 4 years. And you know what? Whoever wins this year is going to have the same problems that they had in 2000. They are going to have to try to unite, or at least work with a country that will still be sharply divided on Wednesday. So, to have a little fun with the election night, I came up with this drinking game. The rules are as follows:

Take 1 drink when:

-A talking head or some other news reporting agency mentions that this will be a close race.

-Someone on TV mentions the 2000 election.

-Anyone mentions Terrorism, Osama bin Laden, Iraq, or Saddam Hussein

Give 2 Drinks when:

-The candidate of your choice wins a state.

Chug a beer(or other drink) if:

-Your candidate loses the election overall (you may have to wait a month or so to do this one)

Special Category:

-Every time Michael Moore is on screen, everyone must drink until he is no longer on screen

-Also, everyone must take a drink if someone mentions Michael Moore or Farenheit 9/11

Well, I think that these rules will suffice for now. If you have any suggestions, please email them to me or post your comments here. Enjoy and remember my motto: "Four more beers, Four more beers!!"

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:40 PM 0 comments    

This space to be used soon.
Thursday, October 28, 2004

Just letting you know that I had something that I was going to write here. It wasn't a particularly revolutionary, life-changing, reshape the world kind of thing, but I thought it was interesting. And woudln't you know, my damn brain won't remember what it was I was going to share with you. So, until then, enjoy this filler.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:00 PM 0 comments    

Happy Birthday to me!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Today I turned 22. Yay!! I came to several realizations recently. One is that I appear to be older than I am. I've had several people seem shocked when I told them that I was turning 22. The usual response was "Wow. You look older than that." The second realization that I have come to is that I tend to think in bigger words than the average person that I associate with. For instance, I tell people that "I have reached my second palindromic age." They usually stare at me with a vacant expression and slowly utter "ok."

Anyways, here's to having made another trip around the sun on this wild and crazy ride that we laughingly call life! Cheers!

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:00 AM 0 comments    

Taboo Language.
Monday, October 25, 2004

I've been thinking recently about what could be termed "taboo language" in our society. Namely, I've been thinking about ethnophaulisms, or racial slurs. My opinion is that it is only a word. Stick and stones comes to mind. While research has shown that verbal assault can be detrimental, I think that it is because we give words so much power. Yes I understand that some words or slurs have been used historically to denigrate certain populations. In particular, the slur that I am talking about is the word "Nigger". Holy shit, I said it. Look at the picture of me. I'm white and I said nigger. God help us. I must be racist. But I'm not. It's only a freaking word, people.

The problem that I have is that a lot of black people get up in arms when a white person says nigger. They say that it is "a hateful word" and that it "brings down the black community." Really? Then why do I hear it said by black people almost every 5 seconds? If you really believe that a word is doing harm to you, then don't bandy it about like it was nothing! What's more, if you're going to persecute a group of people (white people) for saying something that is a racial slur and jump all over them, calling them racist, then don't turn around and refer to them as "honkies," "whiteys," or "crackers." It kind of hurts your position that you are victims of racism if you engage in the same activity. In fact, I think that there's a word for it. It's called hypocrisy.

Please just think before you open your mouth and claim that someone is racist and is persecuting you. Remember it's not reverse racism, it's just plain racism, no matter who does it.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:10 PM 3 comments