New feature for the site.
Monday, November 08, 2004
As you can see, on the right hand side of the site, just under the link to Help me buy an island is a news bar with updates from the www.GeorgeWBush.com website. I know that the news is only from Nov. 3rd. I don't update the script, their website does. However, if the news script is not updated by the end of the week, then I will try to find a new news script to place there. I hope that you enjoy the little news blurbs that you see, or at least enjoy the effort that I went through to cut and paste someone else's code to keep you up-to-date.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:30 AM 0 comments
Hail to the Chief!
Thursday, November 04, 2004
_____________
Well, the elections results are in. President Bush has been reelected. That means that once again he will have to preside over a country that is deeply divided. I hope that everyone will try to work together for the next 4 years so that we can accomplish the things that we need to. That being said, I have one thing to say to all of those people who voted for Gore in 2000: This time he IS your President.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:54 PM 0 comments
This is my kind of game!
Occasionally I get stuff in my email that makes me laugh out loud and then go "That's a good idea." This happens to be one of those things. I got this picture as part of an email from the www.joke-of-the-day.com people. I'm thinking about gathering together all the required pieces to play this and then trying to get a game going with some of my friends.
I've noticed that there seems to be the inkling of a beginning of a theme going on here. Please note that I encourage only people who are of legal age in the place where they reside to drink and when they do so, to drink responsibly. And under no circumstances should they risk their or anyone else's life by drinking and driving. That being said, have fun.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:02 PM 0 comments
Arbitrary Requirements.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
The day after my birthday, my mom took me to go see the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar". It was my first time seeing the musical. We lucked out because it was a Broadway cast. It was a really great experience. During the show I absolutely loved the song "Everything's Alright". It was Natalie Toro who sung as Mary Magdalene in the performance that I saw.
Now I bet you are wondering what does this have to do with arbitrary requirements. During that show I decided that I would have an arbitrary requirement in the selection of my next girlfriend. She would have to be able to sing "Everything's Alright." But then I reflected that all our requirements for who we date are arbitrary. If you say to yourself: "I'm only going to date a 6' tall man who can sing bass lines and is 90 lbs.", then you'll end up liking someone who is 4'7" tall, sing alto, and weighs 300 lbs. It just works out that way. And even if you did find your dream person, you probably would find out that you didn't really want what you thought that you wanted. All of these artificial requirements go right out the window when life plops somebody in front of you.
So, keeping all of that in mind, I have now decided that the ability to sing "Everything's Alright" is no longer a requirement, it's just a really good bonus!
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:00 PM 0 comments
Election Night Drinking Game
Hello everyone. Today we drag our tired asses off of our couches and participate in the democratic process. We get to choose who it is that represents us for the next 4 years. And you know what? Whoever wins this year is going to have the same problems that they had in 2000. They are going to have to try to unite, or at least work with a country that will still be sharply divided on Wednesday. So, to have a little fun with the election night, I came up with this drinking game. The rules are as follows:
Take 1 drink when:
-A talking head or some other news reporting agency mentions that this will be a close race.
-Someone on TV mentions the 2000 election.
-Anyone mentions Terrorism, Osama bin Laden, Iraq, or Saddam Hussein
Give 2 Drinks when:
-The candidate of your choice wins a state.
Chug a beer(or other drink) if:
-Your candidate loses the election overall (you may have to wait a month or so to do this one)
Special Category:
-Every time Michael Moore is on screen, everyone must drink until he is no longer on screen
-Also, everyone must take a drink if someone mentions Michael Moore or Farenheit 9/11
Well, I think that these rules will suffice for now. If you have any suggestions, please email them to me or post your comments here. Enjoy and remember my motto: "Four more beers, Four more beers!!"
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:40 PM 0 comments
This space to be used soon.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Just letting you know that I had something that I was going to write here. It wasn't a particularly revolutionary, life-changing, reshape the world kind of thing, but I thought it was interesting. And woudln't you know, my damn brain won't remember what it was I was going to share with you. So, until then, enjoy this filler.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:00 PM 0 comments
Happy Birthday to me!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Today I turned 22. Yay!! I came to several realizations recently. One is that I appear to be older than I am. I've had several people seem shocked when I told them that I was turning 22. The usual response was "Wow. You look older than that." The second realization that I have come to is that I tend to think in bigger words than the average person that I associate with. For instance, I tell people that "I have reached my second palindromic age." They usually stare at me with a vacant expression and slowly utter "ok."
Anyways, here's to having made another trip around the sun on this wild and crazy ride that we laughingly call life! Cheers!
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:00 AM 0 comments
Taboo Language.
Monday, October 25, 2004
I've been thinking recently about what could be termed "taboo language" in our society. Namely, I've been thinking about ethnophaulisms, or racial slurs. My opinion is that it is only a word. Stick and stones comes to mind. While research has shown that verbal assault can be detrimental, I think that it is because we give words so much power. Yes I understand that some words or slurs have been used historically to denigrate certain populations. In particular, the slur that I am talking about is the word "Nigger". Holy shit, I said it. Look at the picture of me. I'm white and I said nigger. God help us. I must be racist. But I'm not. It's only a freaking word, people.
The problem that I have is that a lot of black people get up in arms when a white person says nigger. They say that it is "a hateful word" and that it "brings down the black community." Really? Then why do I hear it said by black people almost every 5 seconds? If you really believe that a word is doing harm to you, then don't bandy it about like it was nothing! What's more, if you're going to persecute a group of people (white people) for saying something that is a racial slur and jump all over them, calling them racist, then don't turn around and refer to them as "honkies," "whiteys," or "crackers." It kind of hurts your position that you are victims of racism if you engage in the same activity. In fact, I think that there's a word for it. It's called hypocrisy.
Please just think before you open your mouth and claim that someone is racist and is persecuting you. Remember it's not reverse racism, it's just plain racism, no matter who does it.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:10 PM 3 comments
Statistically Speaking...
Thursday, September 30, 2004
I was thinking about statistics that we come across everyday in our lives and this came to mind. Do you ever stop and think about when an advertisement says 9 out of 10 doctors/dentists approves brand X? What about that 10th doctor/dentists? What's up with them?
Jay Leno recently said in his monologue that
"According to the New England Journal of Medicine, 9 out of 10 doctors think that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot."This made me stop and think. Do 90% of doctors really like brand X? Or is it just 10 doctors sitting around reviewing products. And why does that 10th doctor not approve of brand X? Is he just being contrary? Is it the same person everytime? Why doesn't doctor number 10 approve of this product? Does he have some sort of hidden agenda against the makers of brand X? Maybe he knows something that the other 9 doctors don't know about brand X.
These are the kinds of questions that kept me out of the really good schools.
By the way, there is a great comic over at JoeCartoon.com that makes fun of the very theme of this post. Enjoy.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 9:33 AM 0 comments
Goals and Aspirations.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
I was thinking about what I would like to write about today. Several ideas came to mind. There are a couple of books that I am reading that I could talk about and probably will. I could talk about my classes and what they entail. I'm even thinking about starting up a new blog about my experiences as a pledge in the Alpha Epsilon Phi chapter of Lambda Alpha Epsilon. But I decided to tell you why I started this site.
It started with watching my friend and co-worker Jarrat update his blogs, Blinded by Intoxicants and Due Requiem. I read through his posts, laughed my ass off, and realized that you don't actually have to have deep philosophic thoughts to have a website. This last point was driven home when I started randomly reading other people's blogs. I read things that ranged from an online diary to cooking tips. So, I decided that I would pollute the internet with my thoughts. And that was the birth of Bastardisms. I think that my first post showed my nervousness at undertaking this auspicious (or is that audacious) task. Upon re-reading that first post, I realized that I have branched out further than my original plans. This is no longer a strictly political site; this is a melting pot of all the things that I find funny, amusing, irritating, or irksome. I want to show you the world as I see it.
And so I have. I have shown you the webcomics that I read. I have shared with you my favorite poems and even some of my own. I have talked about politics, books, movies, and linked to just about everything that I can think of. I have crackpot schemes here as well as witty (or half-wit, depending on how you look at it) ideas. And all of this has been with a goal in mind.
That goal is to write over 100,000 words. At the time of this posting, I'm about 13% of the way there. Yes, this is prideful and it reeks of hubris, but it is a goal nonetheless. I would ideally hope that they would be words that shaped the world, but alas we all fall short of our dreams. But let us not allow that to deter us from those dreams. There I go, waxing poetic again. Anyways, I am rededicating this site to those of you who read it regularly and even those of you who accidentally stumbled here.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 9:50 AM 0 comments
Jesus, Christianity, and Religion in general.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I usually try to leave religion out of this site, but today I thought I would write some of my feelings on the subject. Please remember that these are merely my opinions and if you don't like them, then that is ok.
Jesus
I like Jesus. Jesus is cool. Jesus liked everybody, no matter who they were. Some of the people around Jesus [Pharisees] didn't like the stuff that he did [eating with sinners, healing on the Sabbath, etc.], but Jesus didn't care. Just about everybody thinks of Jesus in terms of his divinity. Yes, the big J.C. was the son of God, but he was also the Son of Man. He was divine and human at the same time. I like the moments that slip out and show Jesus's human side. It reminds me of the imperfection inherent in all of us. For instance, my favorite passage in the Bible is:
Mark 11:12-1412The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. 13Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. 14Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.
I love this passage because Jesus gets pissed off at a tree. A tree. And He gets pissed off because He is hungry and the tree, which is out of season, has no fruit on it. That's like me getting pissed off at my bank for my not having any money in my bank account. This is one of those passages that shows Jesus's human side. Another passage that I like and that shows Jesus's human side comes right after the fig tree fiasco:
Mark 11:15-1915On reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, 16and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts. 17And as he taught them, he said, "Is it not written: "'My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations?' But you have made it 'a den of robbers.' " " 18The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because the whole crowd was amazed at his teaching. 19When evening came, they went out of the city.
This is another passage that really shows Jesus's rough edges. One of the best versions of this scene is in Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ. In this movie, Willem Dafoe plays Jesus Christ. In the scene that is mentioned in the passage, Willem shows us the anger that Jesus had at the moneychangers had. The best description that I have heard is from my friend Daisy, who said "Jesus is having a shit-fit!" The other thing that I like is that right after Jesus throws tables and tells everyone how they're screwing up, he and the disciples high-tail it out of town.
Christianity
There is a book that I just finished reading, called "The Prostitute in the Family Tree" Discovering Humor and Irony in the Bible". The book is written by Douglas Adams. No, not the Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker's Guide fame. This Douglas Adams is the Professor of Christianity and the Arts at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, California. Adams is a great comedian and wonderful theologian. His book is full of sharp observations and quick wit. One of the basic themes of his book is that it when read in their entirety, many of the passages in the Bible are quite humorous. Also, Adams makes a distinction between what he calls "parent stories" and "grandparent stories." "Parent stories" are the kinds of stories that parents tell their children so that they will behave. "Grandparent stories" are the kinds of stories that grandparents tell their grandchildren about what their parents did when they were the same age as the grandchildren are. The Bible is full of these types of grandparent stories that show us that even the people in the Bible were human and had their failings. However, most people will only take a small portion of the stories and make them "parent stories." I highly encourage everyone, Christian or not, to read this book. Trust me, you'll get a good laugh out of it.
Another good book to read for both men and women is John Eldrege's Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul. This book is about rediscovering your masculinity (and understanding what is happening to your man). This book is really hard to describe, but it has helped me tremendously. I feel like a new man even though I am only halfway through the book. Trust me, read this book.
Unfortunately for a lot of people, Christianity has screwed them over. Too many people in the Church and especially in groups like The Texas Wesley Foundation have too many members who are ultra-conservative in their views. These people are the "uptight" people that you hear so many people referring to when they talk about Christians. These are the people that frown upon swearing, drinking, smoking, sex, and the open discussion of any of the topics that I just mentioned as well as a host of others. Please do not misunderstand me, there are a lot of really good people associated with this organization. I won't name any of them here because I don't want to leave anyone out. But, most of the participants in this group and others like it simply cannot take a joke, they can't make light of themselves, and what's more is that they are very cliquish. Somehow, I don't think that Jesus was very fond of cliques. From my experiences with some of the members I would highly doubt that they have the capacity to forgive someone in their heart.
Speaking of what's in a person's heart...
Religion
Religion has been called "the opiate of the masses." It has also been used to do some pretty shitty things. (Crusades anyone? Indulgences?) One of the things that bothers me the most about modern religion is marriage. I have gone round and around with my pastor on this one and unfortunately, never the twain will meet on this issue. Marriage has been around for a lot longer than Christianity. If you take the evolutionary view point, then the first cave man who went up and smacked a cave woman and dragged her to his cave was the first marriage ceremony. If you take the creationist viewpoint, then Adam and Eve were the first married couple. Either way, Christianity has only been around for a little over 2,000 years. The argument that my pastor makes is that marriage is a lifelong commitment that has to be public before god and the community. I say that marriage is a commitment in your heart to love someone and not to screw around on them. If marriage was only about being a public commitment, then it would be a lot easier wouldn't it? But it has to be about what is in a person's heart. How do we explain the high number of divorces, even within the Church? These people made public, lifelong commitments to each other before the community and before God. Where is that commitment now? It's been flushed down the toilet because the commitment was not in their hearts. I know more people who are not married who are more committed to each other than most couples who have been married for a long time. Also, if marriage is about a lifelong commitment between you and your loved one before God and the community, then what about the people who go to the Justice of the Peace to get married? According to our society's laws, they are married. But did they make that commitment before God? Before the community? According to the Church, are they married? These questions are all related to one big question that a lot of people have and that they have to answer for themselves. Is sex before marriage wrong? I used to think that it was. Then, I redefined my views on marriage. I'm not to keen on having sex with someone that you have no commitment to, but I can't tell you how to live your life. I can only offer suggestions. It was because of the views on sex before marriage, that caused me to deeply hurt the only woman that I have ever loved. I can never take away that pain that I caused her by not being able to express my love for her physically. And to you, A., I am very sorry.
Another thing religion that bothers me is the tactics that some people use to get others to join. I'm talking about the churches that use Scare-Tactics to frighten people into believing. I'm going to just come out and say it. THIS IS WRONG! YOU NEED TO STOP IT! Even Niccolo Machiavelli said that it is better to be loved than feared. If people love you then they will be more apt to see things your way because they want to, not because you want them to. Scare-tactics are the bullies way of keeping people in line. Jesus didn't preach a message of damnation and suffering, he preached a ministry of loving and caring. Take a page from his book.
Evangelism and Praying
I severely dislike evangelists with a passion. Not just the televangelists. All of them. I dislike them, not because of who they are, but what they do. Here is a quote from the Bible that I like:
Matthew 6:5-85"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. 6 "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. 7 "And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. 8 "So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."
Basically this passage says two things: One, you shouldn't be advertising everywhere that you are Super-Christian, because you're not. Two, that you should keep your prayer short and simple. I have listened to so many Christians drone on and on for five and even ten full minutes about every little thing. Like it says, God knows what you need before you pray for it, so keep it short. There is no need to thank God for every single blade of grass. Thank Him for His creation and move on. Don't "heap up words." I have a simple blessing that I use for meals. I will share it with you here so that you may use it too.
"Dear Lord, thank you for this food. Please use it to nourish my mind, my body, and my spirit so that I may do your will. In your son's precious and holy name. Amen."
Simple, yet effective.
While I know that this passage is not exactly an indictment against evangelists, I think that it comes close. Jesus tells us to go to a private place to pray to God. I think that we should be examples to others by how we live our lives, but I don't think that we should be passing out pamphlets on the street corner.
In the end, only you can decide what you believe and what you think is right. I hope that you will see things the way that I do, but if not, then that is ok. Remember there are many paths to Jesus Christ, but only one path to God, and that is through Jesus.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:22 PM 0 comments
New and improved HTML.
Thursday, September 09, 2004
In my effort to keep this site as reader friendly as I can for you, my loyal readers, I have now switched to using a newer, better, more friendly HTML link for all of my external links.
Previously I was using the HTML code:
<a href="URL">Text to be displayed</a>This is your basic HTML code that changes the entire page to the url that is being linked to. Simple, great, but I want to keep you on my site for as long as possible. So it's not practical.
Then I was lead to use the HTML popup code:
<a href="URL" onclick="window.open(this.href, 'newWin', 'width=300, height=450'); return false;">Your text goes here</a>This is a little more advanced HTML code that creates a "pop-up window" that is defined by the parameters 'height' and 'width.' This is also a highly effective HTML tool that, when used appropriately, can be a great resouce. However, the window that this opens up is limited to the size that I set and cannot be changed by you the reader. So, again, this is not practical for my site.
The new and improved code that I am using is:
<a href="URL" target="_blank">Your text here.</a>Now, this will enable you, the reader, to click on a link on my site and have a new window open. A window that you can resize. A window that will display everything. Huzzah!!
I will try to go back through my posts and change the link codes to fit with whichever code is appropriate for each link. However, I cannot guarantee that this will be done in a timely manner, because I have other stuff to do. I do wish to thank you for sticking with me through this change.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 8:41 AM 0 comments
Thoughts on life.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Life is a wonderful thing. It must be because right now there are 6,391,301,056 people on the planet. So, since so many of us are doing this thing called like, I thought that I would share my thoughts on it.
Yourself.
I recently came across this in my friend Aubrey Sutton's
profile on AOL Instant Messenger. * I am working on getting a picture of only her up, so be patient.
The goal in Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "holy shit...what a ride!"While some people may have bodies that are more well preserved than others, I think that the meaning behind this passage is to enjoy life to the fullest of your capabilities. Get out there and take a chance. It's the only way you will know what you can do.
Other people.
In this life, it is not the journey from birth to death that is important. What is important is who you share your time with. It is how you affect them and how they affect you and how you reconcile that. Don't ever live life with regrets. Rather, treat everything as something that you can learn from and hope that you do better the next time. Always try to learn something from every experience you have, that way you are better able to adapt to similar situations. LIfe will throw curves at you from every direction. Things that you thought were stable will become shaky, people that you thought were your rock will surprise you when they are not as solid as you had thought that they were. Now, this is not saying anything bad about that person, but they, as well as you, will change as you go through life. You just have to be aware of that.
Marriage/Relationships.
I remember something that my pastor said about marriage, but it also applies to relationships. He tells young couples before they get married that they are like branches on a tree. Unless you spend time together, then eventually you will grow apart. Take time out of your day just to spend talking with the one that you love. It will do wonders for your relationship. Talking enables you to rediscover things about each other that you never knew. Just because you talked a lot at the beginning of the relationship, doesn't mean that you know that person completely. It also doesn't mean that you know who that person is now. They may have changed their mind about something that you took for granted (like whether or not they stiil think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread). The only way that you can know that is to talk with that person regularly.
Please note that this is not a comprehensive analysis of this mixed up, wild ride that we call life. It is just general thoughts about it. I will update this as I go along.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:01 PM 0 comments
Someone special.
How many times have you been looking at a woman and said to yourself "Wow, she looks easy?" I bet that I could score with her. Unfortunately, this is all too common. Yes, it reveals a certain characteristic of the male mindset, but it is not entirely the guy's fault. Today we are bombarded by millions of signals that say "Sex, Sex, Sex." From shampoo commercials to soft drink ads, sex is everywhere. The rallying cry of advertisers is "Sex sells!" And this is absorbed by all of us.
I said earlier that it is not entirely the guys fault. People portray a certain image to those around us. Often times, it is because of this image that we get stuck in the same cycles of bad relationships. If you dress like a prostitute, then people are going to treat you like you are one. Unfortunately the first perceptions of people around us are formed by external appearances.
A friend of mine told me recently that we attract people who have the same qualities as we do. If you have poor self esteem, then likely you will attract other people who have poor self esteem. We get stuck in those same cycles of relationships because of how we look, dress, and act. If you are in a spot in your life where you are unhappy, take a look around you. Are people treating you like you are "easy" because you dress and/or act like it? Maybe you need to change how you act or how you dress or where you hang out to get the cycle to stop.
I don't think that there is a one-size-fits-all solution to the problem, but I do think that there is something that will help. Instead of going after a person because they look "easy," wait until you find someone who looks "special to you."
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:47 AM 0 comments
Help me buy an island.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
I want an island of my own. I think that we all need a place where we can "get away from it all." For some people that may be as close as the bathtub, for others (like me) that place is a villa on Gallinaro Island, just north of Corsica in the Mediterranean Sea. An Italian villa is just what I need. Unfortunately, due to the cost of the island and villa (14,000,000.00 Euros = 17,043,986.45 United States Dollars) I cannot buy this island by myself. That's where you come in. By donating money to me, you will allow me to buy this wonderful piece of real estate. And as a thank you, I will send everyone who donates money towards me buying this island a postcard from the island. Just think about it. Your very own postcard mailed to you from an island off the coast of Italy. We both win. So, please donate today. To help you out I have provided you with a link at the bottom of this post and one on the right column under the archives.
I have included some pictures of the island that I wish to buy. Please note that all pictures are the property of Private Islands Online.
Here is the first picture of Gallinaro Island:
This is a picture of where I would love to be swimming right now:
And in case you were wondering, here is a map of the island:
Island Map
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:46 PM 0 comments
Coffee Shops
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
As you can tell by my profile, I live in Austin. In Austin we have a lot of coffee shops. Not an overabundance, but there's always one when you need it. One in particular that I like to frequent is Ruta Maya. This place is indicative of the atmosphere that most of these little local coffee houses convey. It's the "screw-corporate-establishment-yadda-yadda-yadda."
This is the root of the only problem that I have with these types of places. The people who work there. Apparently there is this notion that if you look nice at work, then you are part of "the corporate machine" or something like that. I tell you now that there is nothing wrong with looking like a professional at work.
I want to start a coffee house here in Austin that isn't corporate, but where all of the employees dress professionally. They would wear khaki pants with polo shirts. Professional, yet comfortable. It could be thebeginning of a new paradigm here in Austin. Professionalism in local coffee houses. So many places could take a page from Starbuck's. There's a reason why they are everywhere. The coffee is nothing spectacular. It's nothing that anybody in any other coffee house couldn't make. The main thing that Starbucks offers is a professional staff with a clean environment, not a staff of tattoo parlor test subjects and couches that look like they were thrown out. But if you want to go on with your "Screw corporate coffee" shirt, go ahead.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:17 PM 0 comments
How to increase participation in blood donation organizations.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
I've had another one of those all too often misfirings in my brain that results in crackpot ideas. This time the idea happened while I was donating blood at The Blood and Tissue Center of Central Texas. When you donate blood, after they've stuck you with the garden hose size needle, they have you squeeze on some little foam ball every five seconds.
Well, I was sitting their thinking about how I have to squeeze this thing and about how I don't have a girlfriend right now. I thought about how if I did have a girlfriend I could bring her to the blood and tissue center with me while I was donating and I could squeeze her one of her butt cheeks instead of the foam ball. Then it hit me. If the blood and tissue center wanted to get more people to donate blood regularly, then they should hire cute girls and guys to come in and "be squeezed" by the donors. Think about it. They get a pint of your blood and you get to squeeze a cute person's butt cheek for anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. Everybody wins. Good Lord, just think about how much fun you could have if they did the same thing for the people who sold and/or donated plasma. That's about 3 hours of cheek grabbing goodness.
I told my idea to the phlebotomist who was helping me, but she didn't think that they would do it. The reason she cited was that many guys and/or girls might lie on the questionnaire just to get to the booty grabbing. I thought about this and decided two things. The aforementioned objection is invalid for two reasons. One, most people wouldn't go through being unnecessarily stuck with a needle just to get a booty grab. Second, even if there were people lying on the questionnaire, the screening processes for the blood would eliminate them as donors. And, the increase in the number of viable donors who are donating blood would outweigh the costs of the screening. Besides, can you put a price on saving a person's life? (If you are a doctor, don't answer that question.)
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 4:14 PM 0 comments
Neutral Karma.
Apparently the neurons in my head will occasionally misfire and an idea such as this one will manifest itself as the result. The result of this latest particular misfire was Neutral Karma. Think about it. Karma is like a scoreboard on a scale the size of the entire universe. All the good things that you do are added in the positive category and all the bad things you do are added into the negative category. Then, at the end of this life, your total is reached. If you got enough points in this life to add to your total score, you reach the next level. But, if you did enough bad things to detract from you total score, you go down a level. I can imagine a bunch of semi-deity accountants comparing your credit/debit columns and telling you that in the next life you are going to be a lawyer.
But where my own personal oddities come in is in the idea of maintaining a neutral karma. For example: I eat meat (a form of killing), but I give blood (a form of life-saving). Wouldn't these two acts neutralize one another? I wonder if it is possible to live life in such a way as to maintain a score of zero on your karmic scoreboard.
I think it's thoughts and questions like these that require me to limit myself to having a select group of friends.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:45 PM 1 comments
Why Kerry's medals don't matter.
After having recently been engaged in a debate with some people over whether the Swiftboatboat Veterans for Truth(SVFT) claims have any merit, I decided to write my thoughts out here. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the group, here is a breif summary of their mission:
"Swift Boat Veterans for Truth has been formed to counter the false "war crimes" charges John Kerry repeatedly made against Vietnam veterans who served in our units and elsewhere, and to accurately portray Kerry's brief tour in Vietnam as a junior grade Lieutenant."John Kerry has three Purple Hearts awarded to him. That is an undeniable fact. His website has the pertinent info and documentation pertaining to the awarding of the Purple Heart medals. Recently, however, the above mentioned group (Swiftboat Veterans for Truth) has called into question the events surrounding the awarding of the Purple Heart medals. According to the Vietnam Service Timeline on Kerry's website he recieved wounds in his left thigh, right arm, and another in an undisclosed location that was a "combat related injury."
I believe it would be both rude and unnecessary to request that Kerry show us the wounds to prove that he was injured, although I'm sure that the thought has crossed the minds of people on both sides if the issue. "Why do I believe this" you may ask? I believe it because it doesn't matter whether or not he recieved any medals. There has been a long standing belief with the American people that apparently a person who was a good soldier would make a good Commander-in-Chief. While it is true that we have had soldiers who have made good Presidents, the correlation is not infallible. President John F. Kennedy is a prime example of how being a solider does not necessarily make someone a good Commander-in-Chief. I need only remind the reader of The "Bay of Pigs" Invasion. So, whether or not a person was a war hero or not, doesn't necessarily play into their ability to make a good president. Also, most wars are led by generals in the Department of Defense. It is the job of the Joint Chiefs of Staff to advise the president on matters of the military.
Back to the Swiftboat Veterans. Both sides (Kerry and SVFT) claim that people who served with Kerry either support him or don't support him. Kerry has several people who served with him on PCF 94 who support him for his bid for the presidency. The SVFT organization also claims to have people who served with Kerry in Vietnam, but don't supprt him for President. One of the main beefs that SVFT has with Kerry is the use of a picture of Kerry and other swiftboat commanders from Coastal Divison 11 in his ad campaign entitled "Lifetime." The ad spot is available for viewing on Kerry's TV Spots section of his website. According to SVFT, only 3 of the people pictured in that ad suppport Kerry. Two of the other officers are dead and two are neutral.
I have heard several arguments about Kerry and his Purple Hearts. One of them includes the bullet-proof logic of "Kerry has 16 guys who were on his boat that say that he did deserve to get the Purple Heart, while only 1 guys who was their says that he doesn't." This is the we've got more people that agree with us so we're right argument. The counter-arguent? No matter how many people you have saying something is true, won't make it the truth.
The whole point behind this issue is character. Is John Kerry the kind of person who uses the awarding of medals under circumstances that mey or may not have been like they were presented? The fact is that Kerry is using his war record to promote himself now while having campaigned against the war shortly after he got back.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:45 AM 0 comments
Same stuff, new name.
Monday, August 23, 2004
Can't come up with something original? Why don't you just rehash what everyone else is saying, but call it something different. This is what happens in John Sperling's The Great Divide: Retro vs. Metro America. Instead of coming up with new ideas on politics in America, Sperling merely says what every other Pro-Democrat writer in America says. The only difference: instead of saying liberal, he says Metro and instead of saying conservative, he says Retro.
In taking a stab at some form of credibility, there is a Dupometer on the books web site. This "test" is supposed to see what your political gullibility is. The only test it provides is whether or not you can spew up everything that any liberal has said in the past decade. For instance, the first question on the Dupometer is about higher education:
"Preferential treatment is given to minority students for college admission through affirmative action, and there is no preferential treatment given to white students. True or false?"The answer on the site is false. The reasoning behind this is "The practice of giving preference to alumni, known as 'legacies,' is legal and widespread." Now, they could have stopped their and left partisanship out of it, but no. It goes on: "The Bush family receives legacy admissions at Yale - George Bush, Sr., George W. Bush, and daughter Barbara Bush are all graduates." Just because something is logically true, does not inherently make it factually true. (A lesson that Michael Moore needs to learn.) Yes, some universities do engage in "legacy" admissions in which students whose parent(s) attended said university are granted admissions to that university. What the people at RetrovsMetro.org are not telling you is that:
- Most of the universities that have "legacy" admissions are private institutions.
- Regardless of the institution or applicant, there is no one factor in giving students admissions. (The exception to this is the Texas Top 10% Law.)
- More schools engage in affirmative action than have "legacy" admissions.
- "Legacies" are only considered after "all other things being equal" in the applicant.
One of the other questions on the Dupometer that pissed me off is the one on economics. The question was:
"Shopping at Wal-Mart saves consumers money due to their 'Always Low Prices.'True or False?"Again the answer on the site is False. Their reasoning: "Though Wal-Mart's appeal is its low prices, costs are passed on to consumers in other ways. A recent congressional study has determined that a Wal-Mart store with 200 employees costs taxpayers $420,750 per year for social services delivered to its $8.23-per-hour employees." Since they obviously couldn't be bothered to explain themselves, I looked through the chapter that pertained to this question. The "social services" that they refer to are in that "society is again picking up part of the tab by having to provide unemployment and other benefits to workers whose jobs have been shipped overseas." Stop the presses, we have a page-one headline here. Taxpayers have to pay for unemployment when workers lose their jobs? No! Say it isn't so! But guess what? That's true for every other job. There is nothing special about Wal-Mart in this regard. Wal-Mart hires people, just like any other company.
Part of me wishes that these people would stop writing stuff that is so easy to disprove with facts, but another part of me is appreciative of the easy fodder for my posts. However, please try to come up with something original.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 9:20 AM 0 comments
PETA.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
If you are not familiar with PETA, they are a group of activists that champion "animal rights." At least that is what they say. PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is a group of people that use misinformation, threats, and shock-tactics to force people to do what they want.
Here are a couple of things that I found on their website:
Never, ever let a fur-wearer pass by without voicing your disapproval. If you know someone who still wears fur, show him or her this article. He or she may not realize that no federal law protects animals on fur farms or that typical killing methods include electrocution, poisoning, neck-breaking, and gassing.This is pretty innocuous. What this blurb advocates is voicing your opinion, hopefully in a polite manner, without being overbearing. Congratulations PETA, I applaud you for this advice.
Again, a very nice, dignified, and polite way of expressing their opinions.In order not to detract from our campaign, it is imperative that all correspondence be polite and dignified.
[Found at the bottom of an alert.]
Both of these represent what PETA would like you to believe that their methods are. However, the ways that they actually operate are very different. They use double-standards, shock value, misinformation, terror, and assault to intimidate people into believing/behaving the way that they want them to.
PETA has repeatedly asked that "the book be thrown at" people who harm animals:
In Pennsylvania
In Texas
In South Carolina
In each instance, PETA has urged that members write to the judges, mayors, and law enforcement officials in those areas asking that the maximum sentence be imposed for the offender. This is all fine and good. But, what about when it's PETA's members who are committing the crimes?
A PETA member assaults the son of a fur store owner.
Read this statement at a capitol Hearing about PETA's tactics and tell me that they are a peaceful organization.
CAPITOL HILL HEARING TESTIMONY
Usually, I don't equate people with terrorists. However, I think that some of the tactics used by PETA would classify as that. Terrorism is defined as:
The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.What is the root of terrorism? Terror. The intent is to make the recipient scared of something or someone. What would you do if someone was scaring your children? If they were being shown mutilated bodies and other horrific pictures? Wouldn't you be upset? Wouldn't it upset your kids? Possibly even make them scared or terrified? Couldn't it possibly even scar them for life? This is what PETA is doing with their new ad campaign that targets people wearing furs when they go to the theater. They are distributing comic books to children that depict horrible acts being committed to animals and they blame the children's parents for it. PETA's new comic book. This is a despicable act by a group of deranged people. What concerns me is that in PETA's overwhelming concern for animals, they seem to be inflicting harm on humans, both physical and psychological.
Another tactic seems to be "Shock Value". PETA has run several ads in Canada that exploited the brutal killings of 15 women in British Columbia. An article about the ad campaign and reactions to it can be found here. Even a member of the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres called it (the ad) "grotesque and exploitative in the extreme." Let me be clear on this. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has said that it is ok to use the fact that 15 human women who were killed on a pig farm to further their own agenda. ETHICAL treatment! Where are the ethics? Where are the ethics in an organization that routinely exposes people, including children, to softcore porn ads. Am I being to harsh? Maybe. Yes, my choice of words is meant to convey certain meanings and to place their ads in a certain context. You decide what they are.
Misinformation. This is one of the best used tactics by PETA. They claim that they are "dedicated to establishing and protecting the rights of all animals." Also, "PETA focuses its attention on the four areas in which the largest numbers of animals suffer the most intensely for the longest periods of time: on factory farms, in laboratories, in the fur trade, and in the entertainment industry." They also advocate a vegetarian diet. Mostly this is based on the Least Harm Principle. This is discussed in depth in the book The Case for Animal Rights. Hmm, let's think about this for a minute. Studies have shown that the harvesting of fields for grains such as wheat kills off a significant portion of the native animal population. This article details why a vegan diet causes more harm than an omnivorous one. Another article to read about the impacts of vegetarian diets is "The Uneasy Conscience of the Animal rights Movement". Yet another article documenting the affects of harvesting on indigenous animal life is "OSU Scientist Questions the Moral Basis of a Vegan Diet". In giving credit where credit is due, I was first alerted to this issue by Maddox at The Best Page in the Universe, particularly his page Guiltless Grill? Is there another kind?. I also provided the links to pages that he had already linked to.
I could write more about PETA and why I dislike their methods and why I think that their resources would be put to better use if they were the People for the Ethical Treatment of Humans, but I think that you can discern for yourself what they do. Also, if you want to read more of their propaganda check out their Frequently Asked Questions page. I particularly like the interpretation if the Bible in response to the "dominion over animals" question. Please do not interpret this post to mean that I support being cruel to animals. I don't support PETA, their tactics, or some of their goals. In this case, I don't think that the ends justify the means. I do support the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.
*Note: Forthcoming will be a similar article on the tactics used by the N.R.A. and maybe even some discussion on the similarity between these two groups.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 12:26 PM 1 comments
Politics, The Election, and My Two Cents.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
The hot topic today is the election. Who will be the leader of the free world for the next four years? Will we continue to have Bush or will we opt for Kerry. You're going to have to decide.
Kerry:
There is a danger in the platform that many Americans are supporting. It is called "Anyone But Bush." Technically, this would mean that they would prefer Hitler to Bush. Now try pointing this out to almost anyone who suports the ABB platform and they almost immediately compare Bush to Hitler. Sorry guys, but Hitler was far left-wing, not right. This is not to say that I am cmparing Kerry to Hitler. I am merely using hyperbole to express concern over the lack of scruiny that the Democratic Candidate is undergoing. It seems that a lot of people are merely bucking to get the current president ousted without looking at who they are replacing him with. The thing that frightens me the most is that in trying to remove President Bush, they may be putting someone worse in his place.
People have also called into play, senator Kerry's "flip-flopping" on certain issues within the Senate. This doesn't bother me. I don't think that a person should be criticized for changing their mind. The only time when this would come into play is if the "flip-flopping" was so constant that the person was unable to make a choice and stick with it. Indecisiveness is not the same thing as changing one's mind.
Bush:
Bush has been called every name under the sun that can be thought of to insult someone. Well, so has every other president. Someone, somewhere isn't going to like the current leader. President Bush has engendered more hate than any other President in recent history, maybe with the exception of Richard Nixon.
President Bush has engaged America in an unpopular war with an enemy who are going to be difficult to defeat. But, remember that only Congress, according to Article I, section 8 has the power "To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water." However, it is the War Powers Resolution of 1973 that gives the President a 60 day grace period in making war, provided that he advises Congress that he is doing so.
Many people blame the President for the state of the Economy and the Budget. However, it is again Congress that has the power to "To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States", "To borrow money on the credit of the United States", "To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes", and "To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures". All of this means that the President has nothing to do with the budget. That's Congresses bailewick. The economy? That's been under the watchful eye of Alan Greenspan for the last couple of decades. People are acting as if the President has a Mastercard and is spending America's money at the mall. He's not. It's Congress that has to approve the appropriations of money for the President to use. It's Congress that has to come up with the Budget for the country for the next year. Yes, the President does get to have his say so in what he thinks would be best, but ultimately Congress still has the final say.
Ultmately, what I think is that this election is going to be between Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, to paraphrase Michael Savage. No matter who we put in office, there isn't going to be any major change in the way things are done.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:17 AM 2 comments
Love.
Monday, August 16, 2004
"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds."
Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, February 16, 2004
Everyone thinks about something different when you say "Love." It's like looking into a kaleidoscope. Everyone is seeing the same bits and pieces, but no one ever sees exactly the same thing. So, it would be impossible to define love in such a way that everyone everywhere would know what you were talking about. But, it is possible to share one's feelings and interpretations on love.
If I were to try and list out all the different types of love I could be here for quite a while. Since I have neither the time nor the inclination, I will be as brief as possible in describing the types of love. According to a Psychology Today article from the March/April Issue of 1993 entitled: "The colors of Love" there are 6 ways in which humans commonly love.
Agape:
This refers to all-encompassing love of everyone. Selfless love. This is the type of love that is often attributed to the Holy Trinity in Christian religions. This is not to say that other religions don't attribute this type of love to their deities, I'm just not as familiar with other religions. This type of love is one in which the person who loves, does so with no expectations of the person(s) that they love.
Eros:
This is passionate love. This is the love that they write about in the cheap "romance" novels that you find at the supermarket. Lust. Sexual love. This is one of the most primal feelings that we as humans can feel. The desire to have sex. Also, one of the most beautiful and dangerous forms of love.
Ludus:
This is the game-playing form of love. Love is meant to be shared with a lot of people without any deep emotional attachment being made. This makes me think of the men and women who are merely out for "conquests." This type of love is usually short-lived.
Storge:
This is the type of love that develops between two friends. It is usually a long-lasting type of love that develops slowly over time. Depending on how you look at it, this is probably the best type of love if you are interested in making a relationship last.
Pragma:
This is where places like EHarmony.com, Matchmaker.com, and SingleMe.com make their money from. This is the 'Laundry-list' type of love where the participants are looking for particular qualities in their potential loves. This type of love can be long-lasting.
Mania:
This type of love is the possessive, jealous type of love. It usually stems from insecurity on the part of the lover. This can be a very dangerous type of love and can lead to abusive relationships. This can be short-lived or long-lived depending upon the people involved.
These are only a few of the types of love there are. I have decide to include a few of the types of love that I see that were not included.
Parental:
This is the type of love that parents feel towards their children. It includes the maternal and paternal instincts. This, usually immutable, love is prevalent throughout most of our lives. The parallel of this is the love that the child or children feel for the parent(s) or caregiver(s).
Fraternal/Sororal:
This is the love that is felt between close friends. The love that you feel for those men and women that you share a bond or other close tie with.
Materialistic:
To say that love is only between two humans is to deny a whole range of emotional attachments that we have. There is a love that is felt, sometimes strongly, for a person's material goods. In men this is usually associated with a car, boat, or other means of transportation. However, it is not limited to men. We all have those certain goods that we love and would feel saddened if we were ever to lose them.
Note that, as I said earlier, this is not a complete list. Some types of love I have included because I have not thought to include them while others I have deliberately left out.
Love is so many things to so many people. There are people in my life that I love in each of the ways that I have described. Some of my feelings are fleeting, while others, no matter how hard I try, will not go away. Some I have no control over, some I do. Love is a wonderful thing. It can lead us to the brink of sanity and then push us over.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I love someone, but I am not in love with them. This feeling is a mixture of so many of the types of love that I listed that I cannot begin to classify it. I don't have that "oh the world is great" feeling of being in love. I merely love this person regardless and I love spending time with her. Even if she doesn't love me back, it doesn't matter.
There are many great quotes on love and I think that Robin William's character had one of the better ones in Good Will Hunting:
"I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself."Here's to all the people in my life that I love. If you don't know it, then this is to tell you that I love you.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:48 PM 0 comments
How to live forever.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
This comes from my friend Daisy. The idea and the conclusion were his, I just supplied a couple of the details.
Albert Einstein's theory of relativity is E=mc2 or energy is equal to mass multiplied by the speed of light. This means that time slows down as mass approaches the speed of light. Time slows down because you are moving faster than everything else.
This means that time will pass slower for a person moving at near light-speed than for the people at the place where they left. What seems like only 4 months to the person in the vessel is 10 years to everyone else. Roughly.
So what if it we were to reverse it? Time slows down for the person who is moving faster because everything else is moving slower. Therefore if were were to slow ourselves down and let everything move faster, we could conceivably live forever.
This is where the Personal Reality Deceleration Device, or PRDD, comes into play. You wear this device and it slows down your perception of reality and lets you essentially live forever.
We also theorized that moving to Amsterdam would probably have the same effect.
There's only one problem with this way of living forever. What's the point? You'd spend you entire life stuck in traffic.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 10:51 PM 0 comments
Cool Quotes
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
"Women are meant to be loved, not understood."
-Oscar Wilde
"Come on, you apes! You wanta live forever?"
-Unknown platoon sergeant, 1918
"Life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel."
-Horace Walpole (1717-1797)
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
-Aristotle
"All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind."
-Aristotle
"We make war that we may live in peace."
-Aristotle
"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
-Plato
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
-Anonymous
"The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive."
-Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988), "Job", 1984
"If there were no God, there would be no Atheists."
-G. K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
"Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil."
-Seen on a T-shirt
"I was not making fun of you personally; I was heaping scorn on an inexcusably silly idea-a practice I shall always follow."
-Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), "Starship Troopers", 1959
"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion [violence never settles anything] is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms."
-Robert Heinlein (1907-1988), "Starship Troopers", 1959
I will update this as often as I can. It's surprisingly difficult to find poignant quotes on short notice.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:25 AM 0 comments
Douglas Adams
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
If you have never read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", then you should. Douglas Adams is a great writer who revolutionized the world of sci-fi. His work artfully blends comedy with science fiction. Originally a BBC radio show, Adams later divided it up into three books. Those books were "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe", and "Life, the Universe, and Everything". Then, Douglas Adams decided to write two more books, "So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish", and "Mostly harmless". Hence, that is the reason that the Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy has 5 books in it. Also, there is a short story entitled "Young Zaphod Plays it Safe".
The books follow the travels of Arthur Dent and his buddy Ford Prefect, who just happens to be an alien. They meet the president of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox and many other people and things. Also, if you are interested, the original trilogy was made into a BBC television program and a video game. What has really gotten me excited, however is the fact that they are now working on a "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Movie". The cast list so far is very interesting and I can't wait to see it. I really hope that they decide to do each of the books into a movie like they are doing(maybe) with the Harry Potter Series.
Another book by Douglas Adams is "Starship Titanic". This book was written by Adams and Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. This book is about an opulent cruise starship that crashes on Earth. Like all of Adams' books, this one is worth reading. Although Terry Jones does the writing for this book, it is based upon a video game by Douglas Adams.
Also available from Douglas Adams are "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul", and "The Salmon of Doubt". The last book is a collection of works that Douglas Adams had on his computer when he died in 2001. It includes some chapters for the next book in the Hitchhiker's Guide series as well as several essays that he did.
Remember, the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42. We just don't know the question.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:12 PM 0 comments
Poetry
I decided to include several of my favorite poems here and comments on why I like them. Some of them I have included the full text here on the page, other because of their length had to be linked to. I hope that you enjoy them and that they touch you in some way.
Afton Waters
By: Robert Burns
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes!
Flow gently, I'll sing thee a song in thy praise!
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream, -
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
Thou stock-dove whose echo resounds through the glen,
Ye wild whistling blackbirds in yon thorny den,
Thou green-crested lapwing, thy screaming forbear, -
I charge you, disturb not my slumbering fair!
How lofty, sweet Afton, thy neighbouring hills,
Far-marked with the courses of clear-winding rills!
There daily I wander, as noon rises high,
My flocks and my Mary's sweet cot in my eye.
How pleasant thy banks and green valleys below,
Where wild in the woodlands the primroses blow!
There oft, as mild evening weeps over the lea,
The sweet-scented birk shades my Mary and me.
Thy crystal stream, Afton, how lovely it glides,
And winds by the cot where my Mary resides!
How wanton thy waters her snowy feet lave,
As gath'ring sweet flowerets she stems thy clear wave!
Flow gently, sweet Afton, among thy green braes!
Flow gently, sweet river, the theme of my lays!
My Mary's asleep by thy murmuring stream, -
Flow gently, sweet Afton, disturb not her dream!
This is one of the most beautiful pieces of poetry that I have ever heard. I first came across it via the bluegrass band Nickel Creek on their self titled CD. The poem is about a man and the woman that he loves as they are by the shore of the river. Whenever I read this poem or listen to the song, I can imagine a beautiful Scottish glen next to a river. Burn's wonderful use of imagery transports the reader/listener to another place.
The Devil and Billy Markham
By: Shel Silverstein
Unfortunately, due to the length, I can only link to this great piece of work. Most people will only be acquainted with Mr. Silverstein's children's work, such as "A Light in the Attic" and "Where the Sidewalk Ends". This poem, as is suggested by the title, takes a wholly different approach to Silverstein's poems. This is a lengthy poem about a down on his luck country singer in Nashville who gambles with the devil and loses. The poem follows him and all his dealings with the Devil and eventually with his redemption and his family. To say any more would be to give away the best part, but I highly recommend that everyone read this poem.
The Naked and the Nude
By: Robert Graves
For me, the naked and the nude
(By lexicographers construed
As synonyms that should express
The same deficiency of dress
Or shelter) stand as wide apart
As love from lies, or truth from art.
Lovers without reproach will gaze
On bodies naked and ablaze;
The Hippocratic eye will see
In nakedness, anatomy;
And naked shines the Goddess when
She mounts her lion among men.
The nude are bold, the nude are sly
To hold each treasonable eye.
While draping by a showman's trick
Their dishabille in rhetoric,
They grin a mock-religious grin
Of scorn at those of naked skin.
The naked, therefore, who compete
Against the nude may know defeat;
Yet when they both together tread
The briary pastures of the dead,
By Gorgons with long whips pursued,
How naked go the sometime nude!
I first encountered this poem in my senior English book. The poem describes the subtle differences between what is beautiful and what is vulgar. Mostly, intentions are the backbone of the differences. If one's intentions are love or scientific, then the disrobed body is a thing of beauty. If one's intentions are lewd, then the body is merely a plaything.
The Tygre
By: William Blake
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
This poem manages to superbly capture the majesty and ferocity of the tiger. As a person who loves large cats, especially tigers, this poem is one of my favorites. I like it so much that I am actually at a loss for words to describe it.
The Iliad and The Odyssey
By: Homer
These two epic poems are required reading for almost anyone receiving a high school education in America. These Greek tales of heroics are classics and should be part of any personal library. "The Iliad" is the story of the Greek siege of the city of Troy. Recently, this poem has enjoyed a popular revival in the movie "Troy". "The Odyssey" also has also been made into a made-for-TV movie. Also, it was loosely the storyline for the popular movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou?".
The Aeneid
By: Virgil
If I include Homer's two epic poems, then I must also include Virgil's work, "The Aeneid". This poem is by a Roman author and traces the journey of Aeneus and the eventual founding of Rome. This was one of my required readings for college and is another must have for any personal library.
Memory Pain
By: J. R. Guinness
June 08, 2003
Yesterday I took a trip.
It was down a lane.
Instead of houses on either side,
Were memories that filled me with pain.
I looked.
And everywhere I could see,
Were visions of us,
And we were happy.
Yesterday I opened a book
It was filled with memories
And on all the pages
Were notes you had written to me.
I read the book
From cover to cover
And a lump formed in my throat
Remembering how I pushed you away, lover.
Now I sit
All alone
You’re with him
Because my heart was a stone.
Today I take a trip
Down memory pain.
This poem is one that I wrote when I was feeling particularly sad, as you can probably tell. I won't relate the events that led to me writing this, becuase those are personal. I find it amuzing that most of the poetry written is either because the author is feeling incredibly sad or incredibly happy. You don't seem to see much in the way of "I had an ordinary day" poetry. I do hope that you will read this and enjoy it.
Playful Wind
By: J. R. Guinness
Playful wind
blowing through the grass
flowing through the leaves
dancing your invisible dance
Playful wind
rustling the young girls hair
not her nor there
but everywhere.
Playful wind
Here one moment
Gone the next
Where are you, playful wind?
This is a poem that I wrote on the way home from work. The phrase "playful wind" had been bouncing around in my head all day and this is what came out. Not particularly original, but very cathartic in terms of emptying my head of that phrase.
These are merely a few of the poems that I enjoy. I will make sure to add more as they come up.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 11:23 AM 0 comments
Choices.
Thursday, August 05, 2004
Did you ever stop to think about the choices that we make everyday? The choices that we have already made lead inevitably to where we are right now. We are where we are only because of those choices. If you look back on your life, you can identify key points where your life shifted because of a decision that you made. I have often thought about how my life might have been different if I made one of those choices differently.
If I had gone to a different college, I wouldn't have met all of the people that I know now. I wouldn't have been able to be friends with who I am friends with and I wouldn't have gotten to love who I loved.
Do I stay here and let things be as they are? Or do I go out and go for that something that I want? Do I tell that person how I feel even though it might change how we see each other for the rest of our lives?
However different my life might have been if I had made different decisions, I have decided that I am happy with every choice I have made. Some of them might not have been good ones, but they led me to where I am. I would never trade the friends that I have made for the possible gains that other decisions might have gotten me. This post is for everyone that I know and love.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:49 PM 0 comments
Reasons why I'm glad that I'm a guy.*
*Please note that these are in no particular order. Also note that this list will be updated as regularly as possible. Something else of note. I am not mysoginistic. These are intended to be funny.
No makeup. (Unless you are in the theatre, and then it is perfectly acceptable.)
No need to buy a new outfit for a social event. (You get credit if you remember to wear black socks with your black shoes.)
About 4 or 5 pairs of shoes is all you need.
Short haircuts mean that you don't have to do anything to your hair.
The ability to avoid potentially "bad hair days" by merely putting on a baseball cap.
Peeing standing up.
Guys can have a "beer gut" and still feel sexy.
No menstrual cycle.
No menopause/hotflashes. (If you are a guy and you are experiencing hotflashes, more than likely you are on fire...literally.)
Graying hair is not the end of the world. (In fact, it could make you even sexier.)
Not having to wear a bra.
Boxers.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 3:24 PM 0 comments
Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory.
I think that Dante got it wrong in his Divine Comedy. I think that Purgatory is the worst place that one could be in the afterlife. If you think about it in terms of interaction, then Heaven and Hell are pretty much equal. Now before you go declaring me a heretic and start piling up wood at the bottom of a big stake, let me explain myself. Heaven is a place where you are rewarded for essentially being good. Hell is a place where you are punished for essentially being bad. But, purgatory is a place that you go to when you are not good enough to get into Heaven or bad enough to get into Hell. You are essentially ignored by both sides. That, to me would seem like the worst place in the afterlife. Instead of thinking of the afterlife as a line going from worst(Hell) to best (Heaven), with purgatory being in the middle. I think of it as being in the shape of a V. You could even place this V on a graph. The left arm would be Hell and the right arm would be Heaven. The point would be purgatory and would be at origin. The X-axis would be treatment (positive versus negative). The Y-axis would be level of interaction. [Insert picture of graph here.]
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 1:00 PM 0 comments
Webcomics.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
As time progresses, so does the mediums in which humans express themselves. The earliest expressions were drawing in a cave in Ardeche Valley, France. Some person thought that they would record, the world that they saw around them. As art progressed there was, eventually, oil and canvass, watercolors, blocktype, photographs, CGI, and eventually webcomics.
Webcomics are merely the next step in the progression of artwork. Therefore I would like to share with you a list of some of the webcomics that I have seen. This is in no way a comprehensive list, it's just a list of some of the comics that I try to read on a daily basis. I salute all of the people who write, draw, and publish this work. Good job!
Penny-Arcade
Penny Arcade is a webcomic devoted to gaming in it's many forms. The writer and artist are a great team who's talents play off of one another to create a wholly funny product. Plus, the Fruit-fucker 2000 is hilarious.
Nuklear Power is what is known a s a "sprite comic." That means that the author takes images from video game screenshots and places them on backgrounds of their own making and adds text bubbles and whatnot. Hilarity ensues. This is one of the better sprite comics that I have seen. The author chose to have a storyline that is original, but still "in character." You don't have to be a gamer to enjoy this comic.
Even though I am an avowed PC user, I still love this comic. It follows a bunch of apple users and their views on life, gaming, and hardware. It also introduced me to one of my favorite jokes. I am one of those 10 people. Also, one of the cool things about this comic is that the authors have put up a progress bar to let you know what has been done and when to expect the next comic.
A comic strip about people writing/drawing/producing a comic strip. Very funny, with a rich background and engaging storyline. It is one of the few webcomics that I read that is drawn entirely by hand. This is one strip that I highly recommend everyone read. The only problem with it is that it hasn't been updated since July 4th, 2004.*Note: Striptease Comic updated on 08/05 to let us know that they will be updating soon.**Striptease Comic is back on schedule as of 08/11.
This is another gaming comic. The artwork is very enjoyable in this comic. The characters are interesting and crazy at times. I do love the robot X-Box. This comic is one of the few that I have actually been interested in buying the merchandise from. Check out the original Lucas T-shirt. Also there is a newer Lucas T-shirt.
Spells & Whistles is a themed webcomic. The storyline is something that you might expect to find in a Dungeons and Dragons tabletop game. If you're the type of person who expects those things... The artwork is great. The only problem is that there isn't a lot of issues right now. The plus side is that the author, like those at Applegeeks.com, decided to put up a progress bar to show you how much is done on the next comic so that you can have a better idea of when to expect the next installment.
I'm sure that there are more. In fact I know it but I can't really think of any others that I read on a regular basis and enjoy. Although there is this one. But I really don't recommend you read that one if you are weak of stomach. If anyone is interested in finding more webcomics I recommend going to Keenspot.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 2:36 PM 0 comments
Fate?
Monday, August 02, 2004
This is a story that has been posted on many other blogs. I have decided to excerpt it here because I choose to draw my own conclusions about it.
There was a scholar who was to marry his fiancée, but on the day of marriage, his fiancée changed her mind and married someone else. The scholar was devastated and fell ill. His family sought all kinds of medical treatment for him, but still he showed no sign of recovery. They were about to give up hope on him when a wandering monk passed by.
After learning about the scholar's condition, the monk walked to the scholar's bed and took out a mirror for the dying man to see. In the mirror, the scholar saw a vast ocean, and the naked body of a murdered woman laying on the beach. A man passed by, looked at the body, shook his head and left. Another man who passed by saw the body, took off his robes to cover the body and left. Finally came a man passing by who saw the body, dug a hole and laid the body carefully to rest before burying it.
The scene in the mirror suddenly changed. The scholar saw his fiancée in a nuptial chamber and another man was lifting her wedding veil... The scholar blinked at the monk, confused. Slowly the monk explained, "The woman whose body you saw on the beach was your fiancée in her previous life. In your previous life, you were the second man who gave her his robes to cover her body. To repay your kindness in this lifetime, she loved you for a period of time and became your fiancée. However, ultimately the man whose favor she has to return for the rest of her life is the third man who buried her. And that man is now her husband."
Enlightened, the scholar sat up and recovered from his depression.
It is interesting how life works. Sometimes when you think that you may have just messed things up forever, something comes along and puts them into perspective. This story has just put my life into perspective. Something very similar happened to me recently. Last night in fact. Then, today, I happened to be randomly going through Web Logger profiles and the creator of this blog was one of the first that I came across. While I don't like the fact that this person's spelling would give most English professors an Acute Myocardial Infarction (heart attack), the logger was definitely "there for me" when I needed it. Maybe it was fate that I should find this parable when I needed it most. Maybe it is true that "When the student is ready, the master will appear." I think that the master is not always a person. I think that the "master" may be an event or possibly, as in this case, a story or other learning experience that "comes" to us. Either that or I just get philosophical when I get depressed. Either way I feel much better now. Not completely better, but much better than before.
I hope that everyone finds something that helps put their life into perspective like this has done for me.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:55 PM 0 comments
Taoism
I try not to look at everything from only one side. There are always more ways to see something than you can think of. For instance, take the yin-yang symbol: 
The yin-yang symbol represents the dualities that we live with in this world. For example, if one were to look at a picture of the yin-yang symbol it would appear to be very simple. It is composed of two identical shapes, with two colors, each with the opposite color within them. However, at the same time, one must also acknowledge the complexity of the symbol. The two shapes are in motion, while remaining still. The process of creation is going on at the same time as the process of destruction. Also, there is a third color in the symbol. There is an infinitesimally small, grey line where the black and the white meet.
The yin-yang represents paired dualities. There can be know light without dark and no dark without light. If you were to look at the symbol and say that it is a picture of one thing, then you would be denying that it is made up of two parts, but if you were to say that it is a picture of two things, then you would be denying that it is also one complete thing.
According to legend, the idea of yin and yang was developed by Taoists who were looking at a hill. If you looked at the hill from one side, all you would see is darkness. If you looked at the hill from the other side, all you would see is light. But as you move between those two opposites, you see varying degrees of both elements of light and dark. Eventually you see equal parts light and dark. When you are at this point, you can appreciate the point where the darkness meets the light and creates a place that is both, but neither. This is where the Tao is.
Interesting correlations can be drawn between Taoism and the Star Wars universe. Throughout the movies and the entire Star Wars timeline, one can see a struggle between the darkness and the light. Especially upon the completion of The Revenge of the Sith, one will be able to appreciate, the full cycle of the transition between light and dark. The number of Jedi wane while the number of Sith increase.
Seek out the Tao. It is in everything.
Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 5:00 PM 0 comments
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