Visa: An exercise in marketing B.S.
Saturday, August 04, 2007

Visa, who has it's roots in California in the late 1950's, has grown to be one of the largest credit companies in the world. The marketing department of the company has made several commercials. These commercials range from the familiar "VISA. It's everywhere you want to be." to "Life takes VISA." Notice the not-so-subtle transition from VISA saying "Hey we are a credit card that is accepted at a butt-load of places." to "You can't live without us."

However, VISA's latest series of commercials is frankly disturbing. Most of them involve elaborately choreographed routines in which we see an assembly line of people moving around in a cafeteria or some other daily activity. Everything is going along great until one person stops to pay with cash. Everything comes to a screeching halt and all of the customers give the offending payer dirty looks. Even the cashier looks disdainfully at the non-VISA method of payment. Here are some things that need to be said:

  1. CASH IS ALWAYS FASTER THAN CREDIT!
  2. Any cashier that looks at you dirty when you pay deserves to be fired.
  3. Visa thinks that you are stupid.

In fact, the only truthful ad that VISA has is their "Flower Shop" ad which depicts the same choreographed routine in which a woman paying with a check disrupts the flow:

Here are some things to remember if you are paying with a check:
  1. Always have the check and your register filled out in advance so that all that you have to fill in is the amount! Spend your time in line filling out the check, not looking at the tabloids.
  2. Have you driver's license or ID number printed on your checks as well as your phone number. Your bank can do this for you, usually for no cost at all.
  3. In addition to #2, if you know that a particular merchant wants you to have the expiration date of your ID on the check, write it on in advance.
The motto "Life takes VISA" indicates a big, messy, corporate wet-dream in which everyone has to pay with credit cards instead of actual money. It has long been a standing theme in Science Fiction literature, movies, and video games that the usual system of money has been replaced with "credits."

There are some people who believe that this is a sign of the End Days of the Apocalypse. According to the book of Revelations, Chapter 13, verses 16 and 17:
16 He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17 so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.
So, it would appear that VISA's supposed goal of a one-world currency composed of credits would actually be a sign of the Apocalypse.

Don't let the media B.S. fool you. Use cash and remember that the best way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

Posted byJ. R. Guinness at 12:34 PM 1 comments  

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